True Crime in a Small Town

True Crime!

I am aware there are pros and cons to living in a rural area. I think that the low crime rates may fall into the pro column. Here is a list from the local police blotter recently printed in the newspaper.              

(Seriously…you can’t make these things up)

You dirty bird!

A (address given) family reported the theft of an expensive birdbath on the 18th.

Mystical furniture

A (address given) man reported that a week prior to the 16th, someone took his lawn furniture. When he returned the furniture was back in place.

Man was on the moon? Surely you jest!

A (address given) woman who called 911 on the 15th was annoyed to find that the operator had her address and wanted to know how that was possible.

On the 8th day, he called the cops

A (address given) man called police on the 15th to point out that he owns the entire river and people are trespassing.

Not so Comcastic

A (address given) family reported getting a bill from Comcast for $ 2, 989.07 on the 14th. They do not have service from the company.

Colonel Sanders would put them in a bucket

A (address given) family called to report chickens roaming in the yard eating flowers and seeds on the 11th. They wanted to know what they should do with them.

Java Junkie

Police reported a man with a flashlight looking in the windows of an espresso stand at 3 a.m. on the 23rd.

Death Wish Dude

Callers on the 11th reported a kid on a skateboard cruising down the middle of (address given) blocking traffic and flipping drivers off.

Beware of Campers

A (address given) woman reported that a man stole a sleeping bag from her garage sale on the 13th and was seen running into the woods.


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